February, 2002

MY DAILY SUPPLEMENTS:    

TwinLab DualTab Multi's - 1 only , half the supposed dosage

2 99mg Potassium

1 99 mg magnesium/calcium/zinc

1 EAS Structured EFA (Essential Fatty Acids)  

1 - Nutrilite Primrose Plus (other efa's) 

 

WATER: I have been having a hard time lately with my water.  Just lying here, all that exercise, that must be it!    So I thought about it, wrestled with the urge to drink coffee all the time and only coffee, decided that would not be a good idea, and I decided to acquire a taste for Tea, hot tea, and I made sure that I acquired a taste for tea with out any cream in it. and then I logged onto the cooking.com and ordered me up a hot pot to sit on the bedside stands next to me so I have a little bit of autonomy, there is now one thing I can get for myself as long as somebody keeps bringing mean more water and buying mean more tea. and since I started this I have managed to drink three liters of water a day again. not very much of it is cold and I am using Splenda in the tea so I'm getting a few carbs from the tea but I don't care......right now, it is most important for me to remain hydrated.

February 1, 2002

I'm pasting in my journal entries from lifeform on February 7th and I really don't remember enough particulars to do anything but paste in my food entries from the log.

sorry!  But I will have time to keep up with my journal on a regular basis from here on out, I'm am sure. (in other words, the beginning of this particular journal is going to be a bit boring.)

February 2, 2002

groundhogs day!  My 37th birthday! I did not post any entries into life form for this day, because I did not keep track of how many margaritas I drank.

I know I had 2 scrambled EGGS for breakfast along with bacon

I cant remember what I had for lunch but it was nothing special.

dinner, the other hand, consisted of steak, along with crab and mockaroni and several perfect margaritas.  It was all delicious, and I believe I lost a half pound.

 

February 3, 2002

February 4, 2002

February 5, 2002

Geez, you know how they (astrologers and the like) say your luck is always worst before your birthday, but turns a 360 soon after? Well, I think my own long decline might just maybe be FINALLY broken.....

I found my ring today that I lost three weeks ago!! I was beginning to think I'd thrown it away... This is the first really good thing to happen to me in ages. I haven't wanted to bore you all with the details, but trust me when I say, Murphy must REALLY really love me... 2002 had not been kind.

But, I got my check from Amazon for December's book sales yesterday and promptly spent it on the best voice recognition software I could find! It should be here tomorrow. AND........ drum roll........ my new bed is FINALLY coming tomorrow as well! 'BOUT TIME, this one was worn out BEFORE I starting living in it.....

My newsletter test went well today, too. Administering the list will be a lot of work for me but at least **I** will have the control again and I will no longer be paying dummies to lose my stuff and make ME look bad!

And then just now I found my lost ring in my "desk"... which is the bottom of a box of books which I have carefully organized with my files and supplies. The ring was wedged in the bottom of my Rolodex, when I lifted it out to look underneath, I guess didn't look UNDERNEATH, as well, if you know what I mean...

I am SOOOOOOO relieved, you have no idea. There's a long story behind this ring and my hubby might never have bought me jewelry again! if it hadn't turned up....

People, I think I just found my long-lost smile.

But Man OH Man, I pity the poor soul who has taken my place at the bottom of the proverbial pile!

February 6, 2002

February 7, 2002

Yesterday, our new bed finally arrived.  I had ordered and paid for it on December 20th, another thing that's kind of spooky in hindsight.  I almost cried once I first saw it all assembled, though.  It is so tall I cannot climb into it without a step stool! and the mattresses are so tall you can barely see the beautiful headboard. but, it is extremely comfortable, and what an improvement for my poor broken back to sleep on a good mattress instead of our old worn out one. so I got a step stool.  Big deal.

yesterday, my new voice recognition software also arrived.  And that is why I will be able to keep up with the journal from now on.  I've been training the program for a few days now, and mistakes are now few and far between.  Right at the beginning, it was no faster than trying to painfully hunt and peck from the keyboard without being able to really see it, but after the investment of a few hours of training time, I can now dictate and type very well without lifting a single, solitary space finger. technology really is an amazing thing. and I am really surprised how cheap these programs were, it even came with a good headset (you know microphone and speaker). this one is called Dragon NaturallySpeaking, and I highly recommend it. best $160 I ever spent!  Why did I wait so long ?it will come in handy forever, and  not just while i am down and out, like I am now...

yesterday, my friend Sherry also came down and made me a batch of peanut Nirvana, for which I am so grateful.  I'm starting to get bored with my food.  I never understood that when people said that to me before now.  I cannot wait until I can get up and do some cooking.  One good thing, I am doing some research while I am flat on my back, so that when I can get up and Cook, I can make the most of my time.

February 8, 2002

The lobster that I was supposed to eat on my birthday last week finally arrived today.  We had to cancel the delivery last week because of the ice storm in New England at the time, and the potential that they might die in the belly of the airplane on some runway somewhere, which is not covered by any form of insurance, since it is considered "an act of God". they were just as good, for having to wait an extra week. my friend Beth, who grew up with me in Maine, came down to visit so I told her if she shelled my lobster for me, she could eat half of it. it was worth it to not have my bed smell like fish. there was no change in my weight after this day.

February 9, 2002

I gained a pound from this day, even though the calories are low, because I ate most all my calories late in the day. I am not too stressed about it, therefore. altogether, I have lost 10 pounds since I broke my back. I think that is because I pulled one of my self hypnosis gigs.  I was so afraid I would gain back all of my weight, since I was up close to 20 pounds when I broke my back and I was just getting back into exercising...  I have had almost no appetite since the accident, and I think that is due to my own weird self protection mechanism against gaining. whatever it is, I'll take it!

FEBRUARY 15

I finally had my first follow-up visit with the doctor yesterday and he told me basically to get out of bed and off my butt and put on my brace and stop laying around all the time before all my muscles decondition completely... like I  didn't know that was a potential bad side effect already, that IS why I was on the treadmill 14 days after the accident...  :P

 

Apparently my spine curvature has actually increased by 5 percent since the last saw him, but he seemed to think that was perfectly acceptable.  It didn't thrill me very much however.  I had secretly hoped he would walk in after looking at my new x-rays and say "hey you're all straightened out, how did you manage that?" Oh well, so much for pipe dreams.  He did say maybe I could do without the brace after another month and that's when he wants to see me again. And he DIDN'T say 'looks like you'll need that neurosurgery we spoke about'.

 

The whole visit was kind of upsetting though.  First I had to wait three hours to see the doctor when the office was almost empty and they said they had had had a lot of cancellations. And then they throw me a curveball like this.  I mean, I did exactly what they told me to do, and now they look at me like "hey we never said that"... I think it just boils down to them having cautioned me so strongly about taking it easy so that I could avoid surgery because most people tend to overdo, and them not expecting me to just completely belly up like I did.  But that's what they told me to do!  So that's what I did. (I always did take everything to extremes, this is nothing different. Now I am sure that I will OVERdo, since I have the green light.)

 

But no more laying around for me.  No matter how much it hurts to get off my ass.  He actually suggested that I take my laptop and elevate it somehow so that I could work while standing (in the brace of course) instead of lying down. Oh that sounds like a heap of fun -- I can't tell you how much I am looking forward to doing that... I really do not think the person that designed that back brace was carrying a set of double D's around on their chest... the brace hurts me.  It really hurts me, from the moment that I put it on... and it does seem to me that anything that causes that much pain would have to be counterproductive to the whole healing process.  They seem to think the brace should HELP my pain. ???  Well, it doesn't!!! And that's why I've been avoiding getting up and therefore having to wear it.  But nobody wants to hear about that... 

 

I am sure that mitch is thrilled with the whole visit since this means he can stop playing Mr. Mom... and at least that will be one less guilt on my mind once I take over everything again. I am just not sure that I can manage.

 

I guess I'm kinda bummed out right now, mostly because I don't like pain, (who does?) and I am looking forward to a lot lot lot more of it in the next few months. It only gets harder from here. And there are to be no miracles for me. I will never be the same again. Until now I had not truly faced that fact, I think I was holding onto the belief somewhere inside of me that six weeks of dedicated bedrest would provide a cure.. The whole time I was in the exam room I was watching skiers come down the slopes of Vail in that beautiful ballet that I love so much and wondering if I would ever really be up to participating in that again.... all for a lousy thirty second innnertube ride.... arrgh. Talk about a really bad trade off~

This day I made it 7.5 minutes on the treadmill in the accursed brace, 4% incline, 2 mph.

February 16

I woke up the next day and the first words out of my mouth were "screw that Doctor!" I am actually making this entry on the 20th, since I still can't seem to find any time.... this first day I managed to walk for 7 1/2 minutes on the treadmill, and I got up a whole bunch of other times with the brace on, but I sure as hell didn't elevate my laptop to work.  And I don't intend to.  I will start slowly increasing my activity every day, and I will get back into shape, but I will not torture myself and push myself to the point where I am in a lot of pain.  I did not spend all this money on this equipment to not use it to decrease my day-to-day pain. so there! that's my story, and I'm stickin' to it! I'm going to paste a lot of my food entries now, but I'm not going to bother given me the day-to-day up and down at my pounds. suffice it to say that on the 20th, I am down 13.5 pounds total since the day I broke my back.  There's still no rhyme nor reason that is readily apparent to my patterns of gain and loss, the stupid scale continues to go up and down arbitrarily, seemingly according to its own whims... at least "some things" never change!

February 17

No treadmill, I worse myself out cooking!!  Dumplings..... in Homer Simpson drool mode.... and cheesecake!

February 18

12.5 minutes at 4%, 2 mph, with three lb. hand weight in each - better!!

 

February 19

No treadmill but I did decent amount of house crap!

February 20

February 21

 

February 22

I've been having a hard week. I hurt myself the other day, I was taking a drink off a brand-new 1.5 l water bottle, when I dropped it. Reflex made me lunge to catch it, and as I was in bed without my brace on at the time, my back did not take kindly to this maneuver... I also soaked the carpet next to the bed pretty well... Things are going "Murphy".

And the lady that I'm paying to clean for me stopped my drain up on Monday. So now that I'm finally able to cook some, I have not been able to do anything in the kitchen all week. Mitch finally got it unstopped last night by having a plumber come to the house. Now that I can cook, again, my back hurts too much for me to do so...

I had to have the veterinarian come Wednesday for my cats, and it cost me $500. Okay, $475 to be exact...big difference. .  They need MORE STUFF in 2 weeks, too. Heavy sigh.

I still haven't dealt with my insurance/medical bills mess, I suppose I have been putting it off.  Have I mentioned here that although my lovely insurance company has no trouble at all finding my bank account every month, get this -- they've returned every bill they've received on my back saying they've never heard of me. And there has been like six different medical providers at this point, between the emergency and all the diagnostician fees, physical therapy, etc. etc. Everyone of them turned around and told me well, guess this is 100 percent your responsibility now pay within 30 days or else. Well I have NEWS for them. Somewhere in this mess there is supposed to be a patient advocate. They have a copy of my insurance card. They never even Tried to rebill this for me, not oNE of Them!! I will send another copy of the id card, along with a copy of my bank statement that shows my premium has been paid. And I will tell them very clearly that between all of them they'd better work this out, because I am not paying a penny until this has gone through the proper insurance channels and received all the proper discounts.   I have to pay all this out of my pocket anyway due to the horrendous deductible that I have, but I do at least have one of those PPO discount things, and I am damned if they're going to treat me like this. I'm good and mad now. They are all getting the same letter, all the providers, the insurance company, the state insurance commission, and my so-called agent that sold me the policy. And if I get a call from even one collection agency in regards to this, I am going to sue somebody. And that's not a statement that usually comes out of my mouth, I think there is entirely too much nuisance litigation already but..... If you can't tell, I have just had it with this whole industry!!!!

I've been spending more time on the treadmill, though, and that is going better. So, at least one positive to hold onto. TOM arrived yesterday, between that and the new pain in my back, I've decided to I'm going to belly up for the next four days and eat all the pain pills I want. Then next week I will attempt to start walking every day, again.

February 23

February 24

February 25

Treadmill: 12.5 min. 4.5%, 2.2 mph

February 26

I hereby declare that...... MURPHY IS DEAD!

That's right. I got so tired of him getting his rocks off exclusively on ME that last night I ate an entire case of Carbolite bars on top of the Mexican food, then I lured him over, snatched him up by the roots of his greasy wings, stuffed him under the bedclothes and GASSED HIM TO DEATH.

DING DONG, THE CREEP IS DEAD, THE CREEP IS DEAD....
and so on, you are humming Wizard of Oz music with me, right? Uh huh, I thought so....

Well, that's my fantasy for the day. But he just may be gone, for real.... I am officially out of books right now and I have an outstanding Amazon order for 16 more.... but, imagine this, my new order will be ready on Thursday and I am not due to ship again until Friday anyway.... and get this, I had EXACTLY the same number of books as I have current orders..... almost eerily convenient, that.... and I even have enough money to pay for the new order of books, after the computer expenses necessitated by my accident are all paid (with the exception of the laptop computer, I still need to purchase that from Mitch's company someday and that was the biggest expense) but ...STILL... what an incredible relief to have the immediate bills paid!!

And then I got this this morning:
Karen,
I just wanted to drop a quick note to let you know that my 5 year-old and I made several items from your cookbook in the past couple of weeks and we loved them! She and my husband  love the fudgesicles and the flax muffins! I will definitely be using it as our primary cookbook from now on and I have recommended your book to several other low carbers. Good job!
Laura Richard
Author of The Secret to Low Carb Success: How To Get The Most Out Of Your Low Carbohydrate Diet ~ www.lowcarbsuccess.net

Is that cool or WHAT?? She gave me permission to use it on my review page, and the subject title was YOUR RECIPES ARE GREAT!!, so I can add that as the first line... I can't wait to read her book, it will be the March book review... Sugarbusters gets put off AGAIN... that's like 4 times now~

I am buried in accounting work, but you know what? I feel confident that by Friday I *will* have a handle on it. I haven't felt like that before. It's like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders... maybe it is the spring sunshine streaming in the window. And the recent exercise - I can't seem to break the 12.5 minutes at a time barrier but yesterday I increased both the incline AND the speed, so hey! Progress is progress....

Maybe it is the huge bowl of vitamins I ate yesterday, I mean salsa.... almost 60 net carbs and 27 fiber grams, all of it for under 1900 calories total... I was up a half pound this morning but that I consider incidental, esp. given all that fiber all at once.

Day-um! I feel good....... nah nah nah nah nah..... like I knew that I would...... James Brown is coming over me people, I gotta run .... this is Karen, with both thumbs planted firmly on her nose and all eight fingers busily wagging at Murphy in that age-old symbol of derision..... I am tired of being down. Here I go...... clawing my way toward the LIGHT! Take that, Murph.

February 27

truly do not remember!!

February 28

MY AVERAGES FOR THIS MONTH, with weekly breakdowns:

Remember this shows gross carbs BEFORE subtracting fiber grams.

NOT BAD, NOT BAD AT ALL...... especially when you consider all that's been going on.  I've stopped losing and have even put a few pounds back on though, in spite of the fact that the numbers haven't really changed all that much.  In fact, the one thing that has changed is that I'm getting some activity again, which you would think would help!!!!! oh well, what are you going to do? I don't mind the bouncing, as long as I don't start a steady gaining.  It's still makes me grumpy to gain on an average of less than 2000 calories a day, when all the charts say I need 2400 calories per day just to lay here and breathe and sleep.  I guess I have proved that theory wrong conclusively at this point! I am still 10 pounds higher than my all-time low weight. but hey! I'm still 10 pounds lower than my recent high weight. More importantly, I still fit into all of my clothing, and as long as that remains the case, I vow to not beat myself up too much.