so I may never be quote-unquote normal -- I still may be able to resume my
normal ACTIVITIES...... )April, 2002
April 6
Been a rough week - my new little bitty bobtail kitty almost died on Friday! I had the vet come to the house to examine, worm, and vaccinate her on Thursday (first 8-wk shots) and apparently she had some underlying virus that then took over her whole (tiny) body.... I have been beside myself, totally... Thank the Lord she pulled through, after IV fluids and antibiotics brought down her fever and cleared out her lungs some.... poor tiny thing!!
APRIL 25
I have decided that I am done keeping a PUBLIC food journal for a while. I am getting more deeply immersed in creating Volume 2 all the time, and I have decided to just not discuss any more of my new dishes. I'm just a big blabbermouth anyway, and it's hard for me if I report that I ate "something", then have someone write to beg for the recipe - I have a really hard time with that. It's not that I can't say no, it's that I hate to say no, so sometimes when I should, I still don't..... I have therefore decided to be keep my cooking and eating habits private until Vol. 2 is actually published. I have only been able to make entries in Lifeform about half the time lately, anyway. I may just give myself a break and quit for a while - My time is going to be even more stretched, real soon....
I went to the doctor today and he told me that the hard work is just starting.... I have been so FREAKED OUT about my back for the last month..... I have been having more and more pain, but not in the area where the break occurred.... it's been really scaring me, I didn't know if it could be all the stones they discovered when x-raying the spine, or if the "degenerative scoliosis" was worsening and the collapsing of my spine was starting somewhere else.... or WHAT...... it seems like it's been forever since I last saw the doctor, and even though I can and do more and more all the time lately, I have felt worse instead of better as time wore on, too. It was easy to lie there and not do anything in the beginning but the moment the Dr. said I could do ANYTHING, I immediately became responsible for ALL the dishes and cooking and shopping and just those things on top of the motions necessary for all the office work I do has been enough to 'bout kill me, to tell the truth.... and instead of seeing improvement, it's been getting worse.... and worse.... Well, turns out I could have not been so weirded out if only I could have communicated with my doctor - because it is all MUSCLE PAIN, he says! The muscles in my back are protesting against the new C- shape of my spine (and that's permanent). He says I am going to have to work my ass off for the next month to strengthen and re-train the affected muscles. He has ordered twice weekly physical therapy for the next 4 weeks (with lots of working out at home) then he wants me to take 2 weeks off from seeing the PT guy but still doing the therapy routine myself at home, then I see him for what will hopefully be the last time in early June! He (reluctantly) said I could ride my motorcycle on Mother's Day and I can kill the brace -TODAY- if I want!!! (Then he said well, it was a THOUSAND DOLLAR brace, and since I do ride a bike and ski, maybe I better hang on to it - at which point I slugged him in the arm, hopefully giving him a charley-horse. How dare he jinx me like that! Still - a thousand dollars for a piece of molded plastic and velcro - it's obscene. I think I will be forced to turn it into a planter or something just for yuks...)
This is fabulous news, with the way I have been feeling lately I was expecting the worst, to end up with surgery scheduled..... he never once mentioned physical therapy to me until today, so I had been worrying a lot about just being left with all this weird back pain that wasn't even near the original injury.... I feel like a 2 ton weight has been lifted from me just because now I know what -bleep- is going on, and hey, there is AN END IN SIGHT...... I am really looking forward to working out after all the enforced inactivity, and I fully intend to pump the PT guy for tons of general workout knowledge. Like having a personal trainer!! I will make sure we devise a long term full body workout for me while we are working on the needed and prescribed temporary exercises...
I also got a referral from the Doctor to a urologist and I will call next week and make that appointment. I must be evaluated, and if they do need to treat me, they might as well do it this year, because my humongous deductible will be paid. I also asked him about the possibility of a "medically necessary" breast reduction on the insurance since I can claim back disabillty with this permanent damage and he said 'Oh sure, your G.P. would make that referral but it's entirely justified'. !!!!!!!!!!!!! So I may go and get me some perky ones! hahahahaaaaaa. While I am at it I think I'll get my uterus removed too, it's nothing but trouble, and then maybe they can tuck/remove some saggy stomach skin for me too, while they are already working in there.... I will make lemonade from this incident yet, I swear......
We did sell our dirt bikes last weekend, though. We may
get another 4-wheeler someday, that's easier on the spine, plus you can plow
snow in the winter! But I just want to be able to ski next year, and raft and
(street) motorcycle this summer.... snowmobiles, dirt bikes, and sleds hold no
appeal for me, not any longer. I have learned this year the hard way that even
though *I* may never grow up, the *body* DOES BREAK DOWN after a while.... so I
shall make concessions from now on, but PRAISE GOD, I will be almost
normal again.... after all! (okay, okay....
so I may never be quote-unquote normal -- I still may be able to resume my
normal ACTIVITIES...... )